Lesbian *Funny Voice* Only to which the girlfriend would understand.. :D

by **Hlinfield93** Thu Mar 05, 2015 11:02 pm

Since my greedy guts other half decided to post what is sort of her coming out story, I thought I would share mine with whoever is actually reading these..

I have known for as long as I could remember that I was a little bit different to every other girl. I used to sit and wonder and literally beat myself up about the fact that instead of fancying the most popular guy in class, it was his girlfriend.. awkward! But none the less I think I can remember starting to fancy girls from the age of 4-5, a very young age I know but like I've said I've pretty much known my entire life.

When it got to the end of middle school and then going onto high school, obviously every girl my age was going through the same things and there would be hormones flying around the room left right and chelsea! And because I was so unhappy with myself anyway at this stage, puberty wasn't exactly the kindest of processes for me to say the least.

I finally managed to come out to one of my friends when I was 11 admittedly she took it really well.. promised she wouldn't tell anyone and then come Monday morning my sexuality was topic of conversation during registration. Obviously I denied it.. pretty good actor me so people believed it. I was then bullied for two years on wards from that, getting called all of the names under the sun because people thought it would be highly amusing to make fun of me. Because of all the bullying and general lack of motivation to do anything for myself, I just used to shut myself in my room and I then began to cut myself. Some people even to this day just assumed that I was only doing this because I wanted attention and GP's would put it down to puberty or try and diagnose me with ADD or ADHD and which to this day I have never been diagnosed with much to peoples discrepancies. But yeah.. as I was saying.. Because I felt so low and had no self-esteem and very little self-worth I thought I would join in with the hurt and do it to myself, that way I would save everyone else the trouble. But that got worse, the more I self harmed.. the more people would notice so then thew more fun they would make of me so of course the more I would then hurt myself. So in turn I got myself into a pretty vicious circle which went on for a further 5 years.

I eventually came out to my Mum and Dad when I was 13. I'd previously had relationships with girls, nothing to serious really.. I think there was one girl that I was on and off with for about a year and then another girl prior to that and that took a devastating turn of events but forgetting all of that for a minute. I came out to mum and dad when I was 13, in an argument. we had our cousins Gill and Karen come up with a few of their kids, both of them Lesbians and had been out for a few years and unknown to me had their gay-dar sounding rather loudly as soon as they clapped eyes on me. Seeing how they were around my family, and knowing that my mum and dad were so open to them sort of made it a little easier for me in regards to contemplating on coming out to them.. Still Hannah likes to put her foot in it from time to time and instead of doing things in a civil manner Hannah came out to her parents in an argument. NICE! to which they responded.. "we know" well if you bloody knew then you should of told me! After coming out to my parents, telling them I was a Lesbian again telling my friends I was a Lesbian, getting bullied some more so obviously did more self harming. I eventually thought it would be a better idea to come out as Bi-sexual and then start looking to date a guy. So that's where my Best friend at the time came in. So I got with him, and for 2 years the name calling and snide comments almost came to a stand still. But for the whole 2 years that I was with him, I was just lying to myself.. so again Hannah was unhappy so Hannah hurt herself. Again with the vicious circles I seemed to liked them back in the day.. So it was the 'in thing' in my year to start 'popping the cherry' so stupidly I followed suit, I lost my virginity to my ex.. And then broke up with him 2 weeks later cause I really didn't like it! and I mean I really DIDN'T like it. SO yeah, poor bugger was devastated but hey ho life goes on and I needed to be selfish at least once. So yeah after I broke up with 'he who must not be named' and no it wasn't voldermort.. So yeah after I broke up with him, I dabbled with a few short term relationships nothing serious until I got with my ex of 4 years. Needless to say when that broke up, I thought it was the be all and the end all of everything, cause 4 years of the same thing day in and day out.. you don't actually realise how comfortable you are with that situation until you lose it. I mean I didn't only lose my fiance I lost family.. nieces, a nephew a second mum extra aunties and uncles and all that shizzle so it was extremely difficult. I then swiftly moved onto chatting to other girls because I wanted anything that would fill that void. And then I met the last one.. Shan't go into that but that lasted 2 years and even though it did have its good points.. it was hellish atleast 95% of the time. So when that broke up, by god was I glad! was probably one of the easiest things I ever had to do walking away from that situation and I still have no idea why I never did it sooner. I honestly never thought I'd want to get into another relationship and I didn't I wanted to just focus on my job, saving money for when I could move to uni and just getting on with my life.

After a few complications towards the end of a messy breakup, I thought I would make an account on POF just did this really to get back at my ex because she was convinced I already had one. So after a few slightly vulgar messages I then had a message from this beautiful girl who I honestly had to keep looking at to just make sure that she was actually swinging in my direction or just being pleasant lol.. and I still remember the message.. 'Beautiful! how are you? xx' That got me hook, line and sinker! first thing I noticed.. brown eyes! sucker for brown eyes.. read her profile.. noticed we had a little in common.. conversation flowed and flowed I found out we had so much more in common, she just continued to make me laugh and smile and I would just catch myself thinking about this girl I'd never met before I was hooked.. and then we met.. I made a complete tit of myself, fell into the poor girl and she thought I was throwing myself at her and then the daft tit couldn't even kiss her. I am a catch I tell you LOL and who knew that 6 months down the line I would be completely in love with such a beautiful individual. I'm so grateful for the fact that I have my girlfriend in my life because for the past 6 months I don't even think she's realised how much she has really saved me from myself.

So that's pretty much the end of my waffle.
Happy Reading guys

by **SabrinaDawn** Fri Mar 06, 2015 12:06 am

Wow. I know I knew this story before but I am so proud of you for speaking about this so publicly. I can imagine things would of been hard coming to terms with being a Lesbian and telling people also. Kids are so bloody horrible, I wish kids were bought up with more open minds. Imagine if people just loved instead of judged, the world would be such a nicer place. You're an amazing person through and through and you've gotten yourself through the darkest of times Hannah, and look at you now...You're at Uni, studying hard, for-filling your dreams and I bet 5 years ago you wouldn't of guessed this as your outcome of future.
Being gay shouldn't be a big deal as its just a label and its just a small part of you. There is so much more to you Hannah then just being a Lesbian and only your true friends and family will see this.
Not only have you got through this, you've lost tremendous amount of weight! What an inspiring individual you are. Together we could make an amazing support system with all the different things we've been through.
I am proud of you, and you're so beautiful...Inside and out, don't you EVER forget that xxxx I love you

by **Hlinfield93** Fri Mar 06, 2015 5:35 pm

SabrinaDawn wrote:Wow. I know I knew this story before but I am so proud of you for speaking about this so publicly. I can imagine things would of been hard coming to terms with being a Lesbian and telling people also. Kids are so bloody horrible, I wish kids were bought up with more open minds. Imagine if people just loved instead of judged, the world would be such a nicer place. You're an amazing person through and through and you've gotten yourself through the darkest of times Hannah, and look at you now...You're at Uni, studying hard, for-filling your dreams and I bet 5 years ago you wouldn't of guessed this as your outcome of future.
Being gay shouldn't be a big deal as its just a label and its just a small part of you. There is so much more to you Hannah then just being a Lesbian and only your true friends and family will see this.
Not only have you got through this, you've lost tremendous amount of weight! What an inspiring individual you are. Together we could make an amazing support system with all the different things we've been through.
I am proud of you, and you're so beautiful...Inside and out, don't you EVER forget that xxxx

well I'm glad you liked my 'script' and thank you. I know, just thought I would add my own little addition to this forum because I know how important it is to you to get the ball rolling on these things Smile

xxxxx

by **SabrinaDawn** Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:29 pm

Hlinfield93 wrote:
SabrinaDawn wrote:Wow. I know I knew this story before but I am so proud of you for speaking about this so publicly. I can imagine things would of been hard coming to terms with being a Lesbian and telling people also. Kids are so bloody horrible, I wish kids were bought up with more open minds. Imagine if people just loved instead of judged, the world would be such a nicer place. You're an amazing person through and through and you've gotten yourself through the darkest of times Hannah, and look at you now...You're at Uni, studying hard, for-filling your dreams and I bet 5 years ago you wouldn't of guessed this as your outcome of future.
Being gay shouldn't be a big deal as its just a label and its just a small part of you. There is so much more to you Hannah then just being a Lesbian and only your true friends and family will see this.
Not only have you got through this, you've lost tremendous amount of weight! What an inspiring individual you are. Together we could make an amazing support system with all the different things we've been through.
I am proud of you, and you're so beautiful...Inside and out, don't you EVER forget that xxxx

well I'm glad you liked my 'script' and thank you. I know, just thought I would add my own little addition to this forum because I know how important it is to you to get the ball rolling on these things xxxxx

Thank you. Your input means the world to me! Razz

xxxx

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